I have not had a child in almost eight years! I felt like I forgot everything about birth and having a newborn. I forgot about the 3rd trimester pains, hemmroids, and heavy cervix. At 37 weeks I was trying everything to ensure I had a “smooth” process:
“Try sex!” they said. We did and I couldn’t breath in ANY position.
“Try castor oil!” I shit my ass off and nothing happened.
“Try walking!” I did but I became too tired.
Ok… let’s skip ahead past the pain and discomfort.
The Baby is Coming!
We had a due date of 5 October and the baby made his way out on 4 October. This is hilarious for us military types (or law enforcement.) Get it? Ten four, loud and clear.
So, my water broke and I was ready to go into labor–or so I thought.
My water broke… in the bathroom. I have never experienced this phenomenon with my other two children. The Hollywood-drama-water-breaking-labor scenes often portray what we should experience: puddle of water at the airport and instant screaming labor pain.
NO. There was no immediate labor–it just felt like pee running down my leg. Luckily, my husband witnessed it; I needed reassurance that I wasn’t in fact peeing without my own knowledge. We were able to call the triage line, only because I was high risk did we feel the need to call even though I had no contractions. Every woman and every delivery is different; so some women may have had opposite experiences than mine. Feel free to comment and share yours!
The Hospital Trip
No, my horrible nightmares of being stuck in rush hour traffic on the Cape Fear Bridge did not come to fruition. I did get a chance to hear my doctor tell me that “you probably just peed a little” even though I knew that was not true. So, we waited in triage. I had the pleasure of getting an exam and getting my cervix checked. Cervix check=horrible pain.
This time, I was admitted because my pee magically became cervical fluid. I was told that oddly my first fluid test could have been inaccurate, meaning my water did break in the bathroom as I had suspected. I was required to fill out some quick paperwork and told that I would be moved to a room. We were fully packed and ready; so this was an easy transition.
I was given “oxytocin” to speed things up but we found out that I didn’t need it much! Even after the epidural I felt everything. This was so different from my other births.
My husband got some sleep and I labored. He was loving and helpful when he was awake but there wasn’t much he could do. He got up to go grab coffe at a cafe on the other side of the hospital. I knew as soon as he left I’d start having to push.
Within minutes I felt this heavy, heavy pushing and it wouldn’t stop. I panicked. I texted him right away but his phone was on silent (ugh he does this all the time!!). I hit the nurse call button too. The nurse came in and saw his head coming out. It was very fast. She didn’t call the doctor right away which caused me to have to stop pushing for one contraction until she was ready. I think that was more painful than the actually pushing. Your body naturally wants to push.
Kirk finally made it back. He saw the baby’s head and he started weeping; I tried to get emotional but my pain outweighed any feelings. I said “fuck” a lot and OMFG this hurts. The baby came pretty fast and I remember them putting him on my chest, I dazed for a moment because I was recovering from shock.
My baby was super active inutero so it was no shock that the umbilical cord was twisted and in a knot.
Additionally and oddly, his nails were super long. I was frustrated that friends/family commented on our photos for us to “get those nails cut.” I was thinking, “I just fucking gave birth.” The last thing we were worried about was getting the fingernail clippers out during our bonding time for fuck’s sake.
Everything was pretty normal after that, it’s the first time that I have exclusively breast fed. I will blog about our thrush and the issues we initially had in my next article.
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