Selling our house has been just short of a nightmare. We had four showings today, which meant we had to be gone from the home from 9am-2pm. We decided to pick up the kids from their dad and take them about an hour north of home- Historic Downtown New Bern. They have so much to do for kids. I’ll tell you what though, after a day of kids and boogers and everything else, I was not pleased to come home to an unsecured front and back door. We noticed that these realtors don’t give a flying flock about our home, leaving lights on and doors not locked.
Once we picked up the kids earlier today, we headed on a 45 minute trek. I always get this little pit-in-my-stomach feeling when entering a public arena with other parents. We often judge one another, over step, or don’t step in when I think bystander intervention is a must. It’s usually hard to get the socializing part right, at least if you are me. I feel like the most awkward lady around.
Also, I know what I am about to say may be shocking- but I don’t like kids. Surprise, it’s true. I love my kids, I care about humanity and equality, but I am not the arts and crafts cheery mom-type and I can not stand kids.
Finally, when we pulled up to Kidsville in New Bern, I will not lie, my heart leapt a little. This place was massive. I think we let the kids play for over an hour with no issues. I am also sure that my fiancé had more fun playing with the kids than the actual kids did themselves.
This is Kidsville:
Huge, right? While the kids played, I observed. I like to sit back and watch people, their interactions and cultures, and just analyze. That is the future Sociologist in me. I take in the different parenting styles and really try not to judge people but sometimes people make it difficult. I saw this little boy and his sister, he had to be about 3 years old. He kept sneezing, getting snot on his face, and coming up to me to wipe it. He was the cutest kid and I thought that it was interesting that he found a “mommy” and knew that I’d have kleenex in my purse (it was his lucky day). He kept trying to run out to the parking lot. So my fiancé, my kids, and me tried to keep him contained and kept a watchful eye out for his parents. I was starting to judge at that point- losing my educated awareness and embracing my inner catty mommy. My kids are both 6 right now and I still watch them like a hawk.
We eventually saw his older sister (maybe 6?) take him to a car in the parking lot where a few adults were in a car. Unreal. So the parents in the “ville” pretty much watched these kids while these people did who knows what in their car. I pick and choose my battles, people, and today I didn’t feel like igniting this one. I think people did exactly what compassionate people should do and just watch those kids, care about them, and let it go. I think they are extreme situations in which people do need to intervene, but this was not the one.
The children also happened to be *minorities, which made it tough for me to ignore the situation. I do not just mean racial minorities, I am also referring to social economic status. I think that young children are having children, lack of progression in sex education can account for this, as well as several other economic and social factors in our country. For now, I will just wish that these people were having a bad day or needed some parental sanity time.
*In regards to minorities, I have a deep passion seeded in equality for minorities, women, and the LGBTQIA Community. So instead of judging groups that are already marginalized, I try to understand the implications of poverty on their lives and the larger systematic breakage in the system.
I understand depression/anxiety and how crippling it can be, I understand inequality and joblessness/homelessness, I understand addiction, I understand life and challenges, I get it… but it didn’t stop me from feeling a little sorry for those kids just being left like that. Children need to be socialized and taught how to act in situations with other human beings, the park is a great place to teach them. When people lack basic human needs (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) they often fail to exceed expectations of taking care of children let alone themselves.
When people lack basic human needs (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) they often fail to exceed expectations of taking care of children let alone themselves.
Other than wiping this kid’s nose and having rippling feelings of wanting to rip his parents/guardians out their car and hold them accountable- we did have a good time and I am glad that we went.
We had one more stop before heading home- the water front and food. We walked along the water front and then decided to get some food from a mobile eatery before the kids keeled over. Also, the kids wanted to stop at every expensive museum on the way (which we did not succumb to their demands).
We got to hear about their life being “not fair.” If they were old enough I wish I could have explained to them what was going on with the little boy at the park and society. They are so lucky to have parents that interact with them and socialize them. We had to remind them that their life is pretty good, hoping they listen because they really don’t have anything else to compare their lives to. I just hope that they don’t have to learn the hard way about everything like I did.
Some Clips From the Water Front Area:
Overall our day was awesome. I will always feel a bit socially awkward around other parents– I am that mom that drops the F Bomb occasionally and expects my children to firstly be kids, but to be aware of others and to be respectful. I am not sure why that doesn’t go well sometimes but not a good combo apparently.
I am exhausted beyond belief but when I look at my children and see their sincerity, respect, and love for themselves and others, I am glad through and through that I take the time to parent them even when I am barely hanging on. If you are tired and getting worn down, always conduct self care, but keep pushing, they are worth it!